A colleague and friend of mine died last night. By the time this is post goes live it will have been several weeks. She had lived a full and I think, joyful life. The thing is she was only in her mid 50’s. As I began to mourn the loss of my friend I find myself going over a question that I’ve pondering over and over again. “What am I waiting for?”
I am waiting at the lightrail station when the lightrail pulls up. On the side of the train there are huge letters that ask the following-“Why not now? We believe in you. Why don’t you?” It was as if the universe had sent me a sign and was speaking directly to me. Seriously.
For the past year I have been diligently working on myself with my blog being a manifestation of that work. I’ve been dealing with my debt, my health, my self-esteem, love, and career aspirations. Basically, I’ve been working on a lot of stuff! It has taken a year to work through all the crap that is in my head.
On the day that the train pulled up in front of me I was pondering (again) how to finally leave my job that I’ve worked since 2004. Yep, almost 10 freaking years! I love the people and clients that I work with and I’ve earned some amazing opportunities while there. I have been wanting to do something new since 2008-the year the Great Recession started. At the time I stayed put and that was a smart move given my debts, lack of organization, financial distress, and lack of vision.
For the past 7 months it has become clearer to me what I want to do. I want to Freelance full-time. I want to experience the excitement and fear of hustling to make things happen. Of scoring the big deals, and losing out on others. I’ve also thought about how I am living my life and what I want for myself. I value security, friendship, family, and fun experiences. As I look at how I’m living my life I realize that currently I am only being true to 1 ½ of the things on my list: the job and the occasional experience.
I hate my commute, I hate sitting in an office. I hate delaying what I dream for myself. So the question becomes-“Why not now?” What am I waiting for? What am I afraid of?
If you’re finding yourself dreaming of a different reality it’s time to get started! The sooner you start working on your dream the closer you will get to the vision of the life that you want. As I clean up my finances, earn extra money, and discover contentment with what I have it has become clearer to me that this is my now moment. I have thought about: income, taxes, health insurance, monthly fixed expenses, investments, etc.
Are you delaying your life? Please stop. I urge you to create a plan and get started. Ask yourself why not now? Embrace your fear and leap into the (metaphorical) abyss of the unknown. Work hard, focus, save money, pay off debt, just make it happen.
Why not now? We believe you. Why don’t you?